An awkward day in the life
I was at the baseball game the other day. There was a foul ball hit on the ground and one of the ladies who catches and gives the balls to fans came over gave me the ball. Everyone gave a light golf clap. A, “good for him” clap. It was the most awkward 2 seconds of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the gesture, but what am I supposed to do? Stand up and wave? Somehow, just sitting and smiling seems… wrong? I have a lot of these moments.
One time, at a party here in my house, Pedro introduced me to this girl. I don’t remember her name, I blame the Tequila. For some reason she took a liking to me and gave me “The Speech”. I dread “The Speech”. It’s usually very long, awkward and full of good intentions. It usually about how even though I can’t use my legs I am blessed with a good brain. That God put me here for a reason or that I’m an angel. I never really know what to do or say while I’m getting it. Looking them in the eyes gets really uncomfortable after awhile. After it’s done I thank them and try to get far far away while avoiding eye-contact.
August 9, 2009 at 9:47 am
Just another day in the life, huh bro?
August 10, 2009 at 5:37 pm
I always thought generic sorrowful gestures like that come off as pitiful.That’s why I think you should be real with whoever it is,since they’re the ones who have to face the challenges,not you.
HW: Realtawk, dawg.
August 19, 2009 at 9:56 am
I’m in an electric wheelchair too. The needless attention can be good and bad. I was in Vegas once, watching an Elvis impersonator. He made eye contact with me from the stage and threw an Elvis teddy bear at me. Everyone looked at me when he threw it, and it hit me in the chest and fell on the ground…bad
I was at a Method Man concert, he saw me and went out of his way to shake my hand. Good.
HW: Did he realize you couldn’t lift your hand and then awkwardly grab it?
August 30, 2009 at 9:57 am
Was this a Padres game?
Also, do you ever go to the beach? Is it too difficult to get through the sand? I ask because Del Mar and Moonlight and the beach in general is hard to pass up.
HW: Indeed it was. It was the night Chris Young got his face smashed in with a Pujols line drive.
I can’t go in the sand, but Nick and me hit up PB often.
September 1, 2009 at 11:20 am
PB is pretty cool. Couldn’t you get some sweet off-road tires or something? Perhaps fashion the chair into a hovercraft? That would be pretty neat.
HW: You got a few thousand dollars?
September 5, 2009 at 8:56 pm
“The Speech”, or some variation of it, is awkward whether you’re in a wheelchair or not. Trust me.
September 7, 2009 at 3:44 pm
While probably not for the same reasons, I have similar awkward moments almost every day.
Love your writing – hope you have a book or something similar coming out. I’d buy it.
HW: Thank you. Maybe in a few years.
September 13, 2009 at 4:26 pm
I’m so going to build you a sweet ass off road motorcycle/ wheelchair. I think a 150 HP engine would get you around in the sand maybe?
Some big monster truck tires and stripper mud flaps.
Ballin’
They want me to get a electric chair so I don’t stress my heart, but I think I want a segway instead.
HW: Go with the segway