Love on Wheelz

I was at the baseball game the other day. There was a foul ball hit on the ground and one of the ladies who catches and gives the balls to fans came over gave me the ball. Everyone gave a light golf clap. A, “good for him” clap. It was the most awkward 2 seconds of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the gesture, but what am I supposed to do? Stand up and wave? Somehow, just sitting and smiling seems… wrong? I have a lot of these moments.

One time, at a party here in my house, Pedro introduced me to this girl. I don’t remember her name, I blame the Tequila. For some reason she took a liking to me and gave me “The Speech”. I dread “The Speech”. It’s usually very long, awkward and full of good intentions. It usually about how even though I can’t use my legs I am blessed with a good brain. That God put me here for a reason or that I’m an angel. I never really know what to do or say while I’m getting it. Looking them in the eyes gets really uncomfortable after awhile. After it’s done I thank them and try to get far far away while avoiding eye-contact.