Hotwheelz the Irresistible – July 30, 2009
Girls don’t usually hit on me. And by usually I mean almost never. And by almost never, I mean there was only that one time in high school. I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s because I always look like I want to murder someone. I can’t help it; I look worse if I try it any other way. Serial killer is my natural look. Anyway, this is about that fateful day I got hit on.
It was around 10th grade and I was ditching class behind one of the buildings near the end of the day. My nurse back then was in her twenties, blond and attractive. Probably the only attractive nurse I’ve ever had. We got along very well. She teased me about girls and we talked about music and movies. She was cool.
So we were ditching when this tubby Mexican girl came around the corner. She had a busted face and black hair. I remember thinking how unattractive she was. I wasn’t even being shallow; this was an objective analysis.
“Hi!” she chirped, “Do you mind if I use my phone here?”
“Uh… sure.”
She whipped out her cell phone, dialed a number and started talking like her life depended on it. After a minute, she hung up and beamed me a smile. “I’m ditching my last class… can I hide with you?”
“Uh… yeah, if you want.” I was confused. No one had ever been so eager to talk to me before. It was weird and I had no idea how to react. Is that what happens to regular people? People just come up and talk to you? That never happens to me. I want it to, but it never does.
“I’m Becca, by the way.”
“I’m Raul” I said, still confused. Is she…hitting on me? But, I don’t… like her. But I also don’t want to be an asshole. Oh god, what do I do?!
“You have really pretty eyes.”
“Uh… thank you.” Oh Jesus, oh god, oh sweet baby Jesus. What do I do? Why would anyone tell me that? I’m really not that attractive. She must be really desperate. That, or she has really weird taste in men.
“Look at your hands.” She grabbed both of my hands and started playing with them, “They’re so sweaty!” She looked at my nurse, “Don’t you take care of him? His hands are sweaty. You should dry them off or something.”
“That’s just… well… I don’t know.” My nurse said as if she’d done something wrong, “They’re always like that.”
“Do you have, like, kleenex or something?”
“I think so, yes.” She handed her some tissue.
“Now your hands won’t be all sweaty.” she said as she wiped off the sweat, “See? They’re all better.”
“Uh… thanks?” She wasn’t just holding my hand, she was fondling it. If it were possible to sexually molest a hand, she would’ve been anally fisting it while stuffing it with a twelve inch black spiked dildo.
“I love your hands! They’re so cute and chubby!” That’s what every guy wants to hear. “Do you have a girlfriend?”
“No… Not really.”
“How can you not have a girlfriend?” she exclaimed.
You’ve got me. I don’t how girls aren’t lining up around the block for me. I mean, look at this hot body. I’m a regular CK underwear model. “I don’t know.” I said awkwardly. She kept playing with my hands, which made the whole interaction even more awkward. Every time she looked away, I looked at my nurse for help. But she only flashed me a mischievous grin. She was enjoying the spectacle.
“So… school’s almost out.” She was leading up to something.
“…Yeah.” And I was dreading it.
“Can you want to walk me to the bus stop?” She asked me with puppy dog eyes.
In the strictest sense of the word, no I could not. But I also didn’t want to. The bus stop was at the other side of the school and it was about 80 degrees. And then I would have to get all the way back to be picked up. Uphill. I hate going uphill. “Um… not…really.”
“Oh, okay. Well, that’s alright. I guess.” It was one of the most dejected looks anyone had ever given me. At least, I had gotten rid of her. Becca turned to walk away.
“Raaaauuuullll.” My nurse glared at me.
“What?” I whispered back at her. She glared at me again, but this time with a head nod over to Becca. “No.” I mouthed as I violently shook my head. She widened her eyes and stared disapprovingly. I relented after a few seconds of her punishing me with her eyes.
Becca turned back. “Are you sure you don’t want to take me?” She asked me one last time.
“Okay.”
“REALLY?!” She asked excitedly.
“…Yes.” I said with a very long E
The bell rang and I began my long walk of shame. We walked side by side, so I couldn’t see her face, but I could feel her giddiness. It radiated from her as she almost skipped beside me. I just kept my head down and hoped for it to end quickly.
“Hey Ashley!” Oh no, why is she calling a friend?
“Hey!” The girl waved.
“I want to tell you something.” Becca replied.
“What?”
“I can’t tell you right now.” I felt her point at me, “I’ll tell you on the bus.” Yeah, very subtle there Mrs. Bond. We got to the bus and she asked me for my IM address, gave me a kiss on the cheek and got on the bus.
“Raul has a girly friiiiieeeeeennnnnddddd!” My nurse poked me.
“No.” I deadpanned.
“She liiiikkkkeeeessss you!”
I grunted in response. She kept teasing me and I kept grunting. She even told my mom. It took a while for me to live it down. She added me to IM and I talked to her a few times. She asked me out a couple of times, but I always declined. Eventually she stopped talking to me and I never saw her again.
No one has hit on me since. It’s a little disappointing. I want it to happen again, except this time I want it to be a cute chick. Maybe a busty blond in a sundress. I’m not picky, though. I’ll take any moderately attractive chick. I don’t ask for much, just hot women throwing themselves at me. The contact form is right over there, ladies!
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This entry was posted on November 3, 2009 at 2:43 am and is filed under Stories, Uncategorized. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments. You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site.
