Love on Wheelz

“Move, you’re in the way.” My dad yelled at me. He was getting my brother ready to go out. I moved, out of the way and into the hallway. He always takes so long to ge ready, my brother does. He’s like me at that age, only much worse. I could deal with the physical pain of being up in my chair. I could dealwith it because… I needed to. I knew I my mind couldn’t take being a shut-in. The loneliness and isolation would take me over and send me into a deep depression. My brother doesn’t have that… instinct, if that’s the word. That’s why I don’t like going out with him. Everytime I look at him in his wheelchair I see me at my worst. I see how bad I looked and how bad I could get. But Rodrigo changes him. He gives him motivation, at least for a little while.

“Raul, move!” This time it was my mom. I haven’t been happy lately. Losing Roxanne crushed me.Not because I was madly in love with her, don’t get me wrong I liked her a lot, but that wasn’t the reason. The reason was that she gave me a tangible goal to work towards. She was the light at the end of my dark tunnel. But now there is no light. I’m back to feeling around in the dark and no sense of direction. I don’t know up from down or left from right. If I could just find another light, I could find my way again. But my mind can barely take it anymore. I live inside it and my thoughts keep me company. Where my brother needed Rodrigo to get motivated and have the urge to get out of bed, I need him so I can stay sane and get out of my head.

I was in the hallway, out of the way. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts. I wanted to cry for one reason. All the yelling to get out of the way, all I wanted was a quiet place to be alone with my thoughts.

“What are you doing in here?” Asked my dad.

“I… uh… dunno. I was just…”

“Move! Move! People use this hallway.” I couldn’t even get some quiet time in my own house. So I went to the living room where there was no one around. Nick was lurking behind me, trying to not get me to notice he was there. But I saw his reflection in the window, pacing back and forth. He occasionally peered over my shoulder to see if I needed anything.

I wondered why I felt the way I did. Rodrigo was there and I should’ve been happy. But I wasn’t for some reason. I think I realized that Rodrigo being there was temporary and that life would go back to normal. Any happiness he brought was temporary. And normal life sucks for me right now. I don’t know any girls or guys my age. I have no one I can really talk to besides Rodrigo, not even my family. I feel completely and utt

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