Obviously not to the same level, but after a bad fall about seven years ago I’ve battled in both my arms with severe epicondylitis (tendinitis behind the elbows). As soon as I hit the pain threshold I re-injure myself, and as a consequence I’ve been on an overall downward trajectory of getting weaker and weaker as time passes. I had an ex who pretty much couldn’t see me in the same light after I had aggravated things and couldn’t carry something for her, and the look of disappointment in her eyes haunts me. It can be a struggle to stay afloat emotionally, and whenever you talk about what you’re going through it hits straight home for me.

That palpable sense of frustration is something I know very well, and it can be all consuming if I don’t fight it off. I’m happy whenever a new post of yours pops up in my reader because it reminds me that you haven’t let it consume you, and it inspires me to continue being productive in other ways.

Perhaps there’s other ways of signalling your emotional state? I have no idea what though…

Anyway, thanks for reading.

this has been said before: being independent (going to college, or financially) will help. Also, as Scootah pointed out, it really might be a good idea to talk to someone about this. You’re not the only one with this problem – I have a friend, fairly pretty girl, but she is blind. Guys her age don’t want “such a responsibility”, as she put it. She is an awesome person though, so I’m sure she’ll find that special someone. She is now finishing her degree and set her mind on that. The other stuff will follow once she (and you) sorts her life out.

As for me, my boyfriend has CP. Granted, it’s not bad bad, but I could pick from “better” guys, as my mom put it. But he is such a great, caring, down-to-earth person, and his personality fits mine greatly – I’m most likely gonna end up marrying him. I’m sure he struggled with his disability, especially because everyone in his family does sports, and they’re really good at them. But – he’s outdoing them all academically, and getting a PhD. Not sitting in the corner and sulking about his bad leg. I’m sure that mindset played a role in me falling for him.

All this to say that personality goes a long way. And once you find what you’re good at (writing, engineering, whatever that is), and build up self confidence (you sound like a really fun guy to be around), and go out and meet people, it should get better. College is a very good first step. Just give it a bit more time. I wish you all the best.

This was great writing, though. Some funny shit in the midst of the depression.

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/